Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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