i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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