THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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