I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
