She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
