Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize