I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
