smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
