he puts the penis in happiness.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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