You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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