she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
this must be what syphilis tastes like
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
