At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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