chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Watching her eat just hurts me
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
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