Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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