the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
