chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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