My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Randomize
