Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He better not be in your backpack
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
