It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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