Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I am one with the molecules
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
