Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize