She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
