You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize