Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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