The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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