doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
