There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
