I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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