i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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