I need to stop coming to work sober
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
