I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
