The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
