Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
