So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
