I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
