i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
