She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'm passing your future prison.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize