we made out on top of his cat.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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