I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
