there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
