Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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