so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
