Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
