there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
