please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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