so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
