He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
