Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
