this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
