is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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