I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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