Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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