I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i would one night stand the shit outta him
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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