I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize