he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
