no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
My ass is underappreciated
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
