Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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