For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
