i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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