from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
