Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
