he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You were trust falling into bushes
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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