there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
