we made out on top of his cat.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
