You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
