dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
