I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
